what a day this has been

so i get a call from my brother, that my dad is going to be taken to the emergency because he's "gone crazy." well, without going into too much details, the rest of the conversation was spent asking him to describe what he meant by crazy. i was stunned, almost frozen. didn't know whether to cry, or run out the door. i felt stuck. emotionally, and physically. j. and i have reduced to one car, so i didn't know what i was to do. i freeze in these types of situations. i don't know why. i lack common sense and a sense of urgency. i always want to think each situation through. anyway, in these cases, i lean on my hubby to give me the "right" answer. but he wasn't picking up his cell. my mom said to just stay where i was, while she was going to the hospital with him. i would meet up later, with j., when he picked me up from work. 

the rest of the day, i felt like i was just putting on a mask. trying to get through the day. having normal conversations with people. being the "norm" guen. in true form, j. came to rescue me, and whisk me off to see my dad. to my relief, he seemed ok. having a conversation with him, like normal. asking him, what the heck happened. he said his blood sugar went down to 24 and apparently he was delirious. since taken ill, my dad hasn't had much of an appetite, and especially with the chemo, and meds, he has not been able to taste much. so he hasn't had proper nourishment. thus, the "craziness" unfolded, as my brother witnessed. 

at the same time, my dear aunt, auntie nona, passed away this morning. i feel like i can't go to sleep without saying a lil' prayer for her and my dad, of course. i feel like i need to reflect and say something about my auntie before going to bed. my "auntie nona," who was a very close friend of our family, was the nicest person you ever met. she made the best desserts! as kids, and as adults, we look forward to what auntie would bring to potluck. she was so talented. i often remember her babysitting us after school. either we were the most angelic kids to watch or she was the most patient. we always felt welcome in her home. she made practically ever family party i remember, the birthdays, the graduations, the celebrations in our lives. she always made point to ask about us, as we grew older, which made my parents feel special and proud.  i do regret not making time to see her in the hospital. she was moved around often, and unfortunately, our life became too busy. but i know that she is at peace, and not in pain. god bless.

i just checked my voicemail, and my mom says she's staying overnight with my dad. i know that our time with our loved ones is finite. so i am going to make an effort to enjoy the moments we have with the ones we truly care for. i think if i remember this, i wouldn't sweat the small stuff so much. 

good night, all.