living with diabetes

in our journey to have our "miracle baby," doc tells me that i have diabetes. the funny thing was that he thought i already knew i had it. he tells me that diet, exercise, and medication will lower my blood sugar, so i don't worry. when i put my mind on something, i stick to it. so getting over the initial shock, i pull myself up by the boot straps, and move forward and make an appointment with a regular doctor to be treated for diabetes. 

well, that was last week. 

i saw my regular doctor to be prescribed for these meds they are talking about, which apparently i will be taking for approximately 14 days. why only 14 days? well, because she is prescribing that i go on insulin. yikes.

now, everyone that knows me, knows that i'm such a scaredy cat for pain. i've avoided needles, as much as i can, that i really think i need professional hypnotizing or acupuncture to get over. needless to say, i push myself through the whole needle thing, especially since i have to prick myself and check my blood sugar 2 times a day. but insulin injections, 4 times a day? sigh. i know. 

the explanation is this. the meds, diet and exercise will help lower my blood sugar to normal range, most definitely. doc says that once it's down and i test out as such, he will start my treatment for fertility. the problem is, once i get pregnant, everything goes up, meaning: blood sugar, blood pressure. in the event that i am pregnant, i cannot take diabetic medicine. it's gotta be insulin. so....regular doctor says it doesn't make sense to do meds when i'm trying to get pregnant. double sigh.

so...

what's my feeling on all this change?well...i have to be an adult about it. i want to be healthy. i want to have a good quality of life. i love what i get to do now, like live my life's passion to be an educator and a photographer, that if i want to continue what i've got, i need to take care of my health. with or without baby. and....well, if it's with baby, i want my baby to be healthy, as well. 

i feel pretty young, considering i'm in my mid-30's (yes, 36 is still MID). with no children of my own, i feel pretty youthful. there are only a few regular moments in my life when i "feel" adult: 1)paying mortgage, 2)paying property taxes, 3)paying taxes, and...now, 4)managing my diabetes (hey, at least it's not another bill, right?). 

so the journey continues...