Thursday, March 5, 2009

day at the doctor's

so i went to my regular check up/follow up with my doctor about my diabetes. i was very nervous but also looking forward to talking with my doctor, and "facing the music," as they say. a week ago, i took some blood tests, and it was not good news. well, my busy lifestyle, and bad habits finally caught up with me. it has taken its toll on my liver and kidneys. my doctor says that i need to give up, or cut down something in my lifestyle. it's difficult, because both j. and i still have our "day" jobs, and our business, which is a full-time job in itself. we don't want to give up our business because we absolutely LOVE what we do, and what we do for our clients. we love being a part of people's joyous moments. we love meeting new people, and we've been so blessed with meeting such nice, friendly, and cool people. we are not ready to give that up.

what i'm thinking is that i need to make small "cuts" in my lifestyle, and more effort to really take time out for myself, whether it be taking a walk, spending an afternoon cooking a special dinner for myself and my husband, turning up the music in the house and cleaning/dancing, reading magazines on the couch, etc. i think it's those little things that will make an impact on my health. it has been a struggle to accomplish this.

i found myself getting teary-eyed up before the appointment, everything finally hitting me, that this is my health. this is me. i need to do something about it. j. was there, and the doctor walked in, while i was having this emotional moment, and as j. put it, the doctor looked at him, like he was Chris Brown (the singer that is allegedly accused of beating his girlfriend and singer, Rhianna). i quickly explained...i don't know if it was also because in the last couple months, there has been serious medical drama with my relatives, but i was scared of the doctor was going to say. j. thought i was crying because the nurse asked me to take my shoes off so the doctor can inspect my feet, and i was nervous because i haven't had a pedicure for more than a month (ok...that was part of the reason i was crying. i'm self conscious about my feet, ok?)

she, of course, told me that i have to cut down on my schedule, take time out to take my meds, and check my blood sugar regularly, as well as exercise and eat healthy. sigh...she did not want to prescribe me insulin because she felt that i needed to get back on track and on schedule with my meds. in three months, she wants to see improvement, so we can talk about fertility again. so that's the goal. we want to see improvement, as well, for ourselves, our future, baby or no baby.

i'm so glad j. was there. he takes good care of me and i could not ask for more. i need to take care of myself, so i can take care of us. i want to get back to the person who i want to be a new, and improved me.

how do you take time out for yourself? please leave a comment! would love to hear from ya!

No comments: